AHHHHHHHH
Friday.
its only 3 days from now. I be moving away from home.
Away from dinner made for me, away from sharing a room with my brother, which i have done for the past almost 19 years, away from my dear dear friends, and away from Momma.
In close to 19 years of life the longest i have gone with out seeing my mother is 2 weeks. and that was hard.
I am moving to Bend, Oregon for the discipleship training program. Its only for 6 months but i have never faced something like this. hard things that i have experienced before i can prepare and brace myself for, like getting a shot in my arm or something. but this is like nothing that i have ever done or experienced before.
A little,fearful, dumb part of myself wants to just stay here in my little bubble and live a comfortable boring life forever with my family and friends nearby, but i cant do that. Faith requires us stepping out into the cold, unknown, swirling waters outside the boat. Jesus called me, i said i would go.
Now it is coming fast and i cant stop it. i am excited so much to go.
Excitedandscaredandnervousandantsyandamillionotherthings.
I have no real clue what to expect from this time in my life but i know it will amazing. God will smash me, mold me, break me again, heal me, show me 1095216582778 amazing things about Him that i didnt know. I will grow in Him. Pray that i let Him have all my heart. I want to divorce the world form my heart. De-tangle myself with the affairs of this life. It is far too easy to get caught up with the little unimportant things in life.
BAHHHHH.
I need to DIE everyday to MY wants and desires and passions, and surrender to Yahweh's will and desire. It is so simple but not easy.
I will not be on the 'Net much while i am gone, but hopefully i will be able to update the world on my spiritual journey at the program every month. Maybe.
It is late, and i have more packing to do tomorrow, or later today. both actually.
Rog.
its only 3 days from now. I be moving away from home.
Away from dinner made for me, away from sharing a room with my brother, which i have done for the past almost 19 years, away from my dear dear friends, and away from Momma.
In close to 19 years of life the longest i have gone with out seeing my mother is 2 weeks. and that was hard.
I am moving to Bend, Oregon for the discipleship training program. Its only for 6 months but i have never faced something like this. hard things that i have experienced before i can prepare and brace myself for, like getting a shot in my arm or something. but this is like nothing that i have ever done or experienced before.
A little,fearful, dumb part of myself wants to just stay here in my little bubble and live a comfortable boring life forever with my family and friends nearby, but i cant do that. Faith requires us stepping out into the cold, unknown, swirling waters outside the boat. Jesus called me, i said i would go.
Now it is coming fast and i cant stop it. i am excited so much to go.
Excitedandscaredandnervousandantsyandamillionotherthings.
I have no real clue what to expect from this time in my life but i know it will amazing. God will smash me, mold me, break me again, heal me, show me 1095216582778 amazing things about Him that i didnt know. I will grow in Him. Pray that i let Him have all my heart. I want to divorce the world form my heart. De-tangle myself with the affairs of this life. It is far too easy to get caught up with the little unimportant things in life.
BAHHHHH.
I need to DIE everyday to MY wants and desires and passions, and surrender to Yahweh's will and desire. It is so simple but not easy.
I will not be on the 'Net much while i am gone, but hopefully i will be able to update the world on my spiritual journey at the program every month. Maybe.
It is late, and i have more packing to do tomorrow, or later today. both actually.
Rog.
posted by Rog. at
12:08 AM
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